Posted on June 17, 2015 by Iosis
From jellyfish to jubilant
After attending a parenting programme, young mum Jessica is joyful about the difference it is making in raising her toddler.
She started attending the Toolbox Building Awesome Whanau parenting group at Iosis with a specific goal in mind. She wanted to prove to Child, Youth and Family that she is a good mum.
Other mothers at playgroup recommended Toolbox, which Iosis runs each school term. It is a group programme, but Jessica soon overcame any apprehension she may have felt talking amongst strangers.
“It was good to hear people’s stories and to share. It makes you feel like you’re not the only one, and it makes you feel involved.”
Asked what stood out to her most in the programme, she immediately describes what she learned about parenting styles.
“The jellyfish parent is where you let your child get away with things, and there is no discipline. The sergeant major is the total opposite. It’s like they tell you, ‘You can’t do this, and you can’t do that.’ But they are rules made up on the spot.
“I was a jellyfish for sure! It was my first time being a mum. So I thought I should try and spoil her with love. But I was obviously not doing it the right way.”
Now, by meaning what she says and sticking to it, Jessica feels she is becoming stronger as a parent, and more independent, too. She is also clear on the outcome if she had not learnt this important parenting skill.
“My daughter would be a spoilt brat. She wouldn’t listen to me and she would have no respect for me at all,” says Jessica.