Stuart

Things weren’t going well in Stuart’s personal life. It had started to spill over into his professional life too. He knew he needed to make some drastic changes—for the sake of himself, his sons, and his colleagues.

Stuart completed three programmes with Iosis. Two were group-based—Toolbox Parenting Building Awesome Whanau and Getting a Grip on Communication. He also met one-on-one with a Men’s Development (MenD) facilitator for six weeks.

Instead of letting frustration or distraction get in the way, Stuart now savours every moment he has with his young sons. He has also learned how to observe his feelings, reflect on his needs, and articulate clearly what he requires from others.

Stuart says his conservative, ‘middle-class’ European background made it difficult for him to seek help. But when he mustered the courage to do so, he found the process was not as arduous or fearful as he might have imagined.

“It is brave, and it is the right thing to do, to say, ‘I’d like a bit of help on that,’” says Stuart. “Once you do that, things get a lot easier. It’s like a release. We can’t get through life ourselves. The sooner we realise that, the better.”