Ofa’s story

After six months at the Iosis Whānau Centre, Ofa has ditched her drug habit and learned how to become a better, safer mother to her two tamariki, for good.

23-year-old Ofa has two boys aged under five, both of whom are in her care at the Iosis Whānau Centre. Despite not having a particularly happy childhood in her home of Whangarei, Ofa was a good student at school and left with Level 3 NCEA.

The future looked bright … until she moved down to Taranaki and started smoking weed. Before long, she fell pregnant with her first child. Ofa says while she only smoked weed, her partner was heavily involved in other drugs. “He was a drug addict, not just weed, but lots of heavy drugs,” she explains.

Ofa returned to whānau in Whangarei to escape her situation in Taranaki, and gave birth to her son, Rain. Although she had split from Rain’s father when he was born, Ofa travelled to Taranaki to visit him when the child was nearly a year old. The visit became traumatic when Rain’s father kidnapped Rain, and it wasn’t until Ofa had arranged a parenting order against him that she finally got her baby back.

A couple of years later and back living in Whangarei with her mother, Ofa became pregnant again and had Gray who is now nine months old. She was in the city with her children when a passerby saw her smack Rain and called the police. Oranga Tamariki subsequently became involved and recommended that Ofa undergo the Iosis Whānau Centre programme. She and her children were driven from Whangarei to Auckland by the OT social worker.

Becoming clean. Becoming a better mum.

Six months later, Ofa is about to graduate from the Centre. During her time here, she has completed several courses, including the detox programme. “I had smoked weed for such a long time, I had forgotten what it is like to be clean,” she says. “I never thought of myself as a drug addict as I thought smoking weed wasn’t doing ‘real drugs’, but I realise now that I was. I feel so much clearer and more self-aware now I’m off drugs.”

Ofa says that on reflection, she realises that she didn’t really know how to parent. At the Centre, she has finally learnt the skills she needs to raise her two lovely boys. Now, she has them in a regular routine and is caring for them far more attentively than before. “My oldest boy used to be on my phone quite late in the night, which wasn’t good for him. My phone was taken off me for five of the six months at Iosis to help break this pattern. It’s been great for both of us,” she says.

Ofa’s younger boy has recurring bronchitis and has had many trips in and out of Starship during his short life. Ofa says that caring for him and taking care of his needs was initially very challenging, but with the support of Starship, community nurses and Iosis staff she’s now able to support him much better.

As well as learning to take better care of her children, Ofa has also benefited personally from her time at Iosis, thanks to our Non-violence Communication and Building Awesome Whānau programmes. “Before, I was easily aggravated and now I’ve learnt the tools to manage that, which is much better for me and my kids,” she reports.

As she readies herself and her young family to leave the Iosis Whānau Centre, Ofa has many hopes for the future. “I want to raise two happy, healthy boys who are well cared for,” she says.” She also feels much stronger and better able to communicate what she needs. “If I don’t feel comfortable in a situation, now I can sort it by communicating what I do or don’t want. I feel so much stronger. The Whānau Centre has been great and I’m going to miss it.”