Elizabeth’s story

After a tough start in life and years of battling addictions, domestic violence and unhealthy relationships, Elizabeth was determined to change, for her children.

Elizabeth was the youngest of six children raised by a solo mum. She was put into foster care several times in her early childhood and returned to her mother when she was two years old. She says her childhood was “all over the place”, and she has also been “all over the place” at times during her adult life too.

Elizabeth has had eight children, two of whom were premature babies and passed away. Her oldest child is 25 years and her youngest is five, and the family live in a Kāinga Ora home. During her adult life, she has struggled with addiction and domestic violence which she says hasn’t led her to be a very good parent at times.

However, things are changing for Elizabeth. Over the past few years Iosis has been a constant in her life. She was initially referred to our organisation and has referred herself when needed during this time. “Iosis has been my rock,” she says. “The people are amazing, and I have learnt so much from them. They are a great combination of being really caring – you can see that in them – but they’re also straight-up and can tell it to you like it is.”

Elizabeth has graduated from several Iosis programmes, including Getting a Grip on Addiction, Non-violent Communication, and our Triple P parenting programme – and she found them all beneficial.  “The non-violent communication programme was great,” she says. “It helped me to see situations differently and taught me different skills to manage my anger. I use these skills often and I am so grateful to the programme’s teacher.”

She says one of the most valuable things she learnt was recognising her own patterns of behaviour. “I really looked forward to those sessions and didn’t want them to end. I wish it could have gone on forever. “The group sessions were amazing too,” she says. “When you hear other people’s stories, you realise that you are not the only one having it tough. Some people are going through a lot.”

She says one of the most valuable things she learnt was recognising her own patterns of behaviour. “The teacher helped me see that I have a habit of feeling sorry for the partners I choose, rather than thinking about my own needs and goals. I’ve learnt that I’m in charge of my own life, and I don’t need to stay in situations that aren’t good for me or my children.”

“It’s hard to change, but I have made changes thanks to the support of Iosis. I still have my moments, but I’ve learnt so much. I’ve learnt that yelling at your children is not normal – I’ve learnt a new way of parenting and supporting them. I’ve also learnt to be playful with my children and how to enjoy them.”

Elizabeth encourages others like her to take the first step and enrol in an Iosis programme. “It will transform your life, in a huge way. But if you come, even if you have been referred, come because you want things to improve. If you have that attitude, things will get better.”  

“I’ve learnt that I’m in charge of my own life, and I don’t need to stay in situations that aren’t good for me or my children.”

*Name has been changed and a stock image used to protect privacy.